And welcome to my first post of the month. You'd think with as much free time as I should have waiting to find new work I'd have more free moments to post in here. Clarity of those thoughts, however, is often fleeting if it ever exists.

By the way, formatting and editing a manuscript is the sucky part of the job of writing. I'm convinced of this. Honestly I think there are worst things, I just like to complain. (This is a shocking revelation I realize. heh.) I'm trying to get at least one of my book manuscripts back out the door before school starts up again in June. This is on top of all the scholarship applications, etc.  Decent formatting resource:  http://www.shunn.net/format/novel.html

Okay sometimes I just sit around like a bump on a log and stare at my manuscript, peck a few words in, and then hours upon hours have passed without my noticing. Ever done that? I like to think I'm not the only one who gets that wrapped up in things. Of course, writing a hundred pages at a go is not anything new for me, not that I always manage that much.

I'm closing at that for now.

Well, my brother came up to visit me some today in between my clients. He rode his motorcycle up and created the usual stir downtown. He insists on riding down the main drag and of course no one care hear anything BUT his motorcycle. ^_~! It's funny.

So anyway, despite doom and gloom in the last post, I'm in a much better mood today. I made up with my friends in question, but we decided to stay out of each other's hair for a little bit. Sometimes that's just better, you know it?

I still have an hour before the staff meeting so I don't know what's going to go on with that, I will add on to this post when I know something. Once this weekend is over, I'm hoping things start to settle down to some sense of normalcy. I am, however, going to bring up at the meeting that I am looking for more hours to work as I can get them around my class schedule. I don't think it's fair to expect me to be satisfied with 7 1/2 hours. Oh I'd love the free time, but free time don't pay all my bills. heh.

So anyway, today feels so rushed especially for a Friday. I chill on Fridays. But I feel like something important's about to happen. There is no 'good or bad' in these sort of cases. It looks whatever way you want it to look. Sometimes you have to get kicked out the door to find your path, you know what I'm saying? But leaving your comfort zone sucketh at times. Mostly because of your own ego getting in the way.

So, I don 't know what's going on as far as my hours at work. Patience is not my strong suit, I suppose, but I am unbelievably nervous about the inservice / staff meeting tomorrow afternoon. It's one of those gut feelings that I have when something bad is about to land right in front of my feet and bring me to my knees. So if I have some scrapes, will someone lend me a few band-aids? I have to go walk six miles Saturday morning. LOL.

That's not the only thing that's up in the air. Some friends are starting to back away. Or maybe it's that I'm walking in a new direction that's not where they are going. So. What do you say to that? The point is that I can't always stay in my own comfort zone. Comfort zone is a synonym for stagnation and a slow, painful death without anything to show for your life.

I'm hurting in a lot of ways right now and I'm learning that there are a lot of people who simply don't care. People I thought should care at least a little. People I thought didn't see me merely as what I could do for them. So. I guess Dr. Seuss had it right. "Those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter." And it hurts more to think that way in one method, but in another, I think it's part of what I need to be able to slough off my skin and move forward.

June can't get here soon enough, I think. May can't get here soon enough. That's when I'll know for sure what my immediate fate holds for me in regards to my work situation. I hate to think about looking for more work, but I have been half-heartedly already. I've been doing a lot half-heartedly. I think part of me knows exactly what's coming but I don't want to admit it to myself and I'm trying to duck my head in the sand like a good ostrich.

But I'm not an ostrich, so I need to quit that, don't I?

Getting away from somber thoughts, I just finished watching Elizabethtown - excellent movie, worth renting. O.k., some invariably will hate it. But that's the way of things. If I'm wrong, you can leave me a smiley sticking its tongue out at me on here.

So... I'm not losing hours from work after all from how it appears. I've got myself scheduled for classes this summer and in the fall (after some tweaking when I found out that I'm still working until five on Mondays... lol). All, thus far, is going well in the realm of "Moon". LOL.

And on that note, I'm gonna call it an evening.

"There's no sense beating a dead horse -- but if you've reached the
point where you even seriously consider that abusing a dead animal might improve
your lot in life, I say go ahead and give it a shot." ~Anthony Myers

I've got a lot on my mind right now, so I won't be surprised if any of my entries are short and full of nonsensical musings pieced together from my own thoughts and those of others. I might need a brain fart to release some of the pressure up there. Ha!

Sorry - that sucked, I know it did. LOL.

Since I'm going to be cut back in hours at work, I'm going to have to look for something else to supplement. Why does this *$%#*  always happen right before enrollment? This is what happened last time I went to enroll, except me lost all work for a couple of months and wound up dropping the idea of going back to school.

I know, by virtue of my own faith, that nothing is permanent, that change is required to prevent stagnation in nature and in ourselves. So... why? I know I should just release my hold on what's happening, but it's frightening. A good friend told me that what's going to happen is going to happen whether I'm worried about it or not. Perhaps I should at least try to listen to reasonable advice.

And not biting the heads off people who 'pry'... (I still have to apologize for that one. Part of me is crossing her arms over her chest and adamantly refusing that she doesn't want to do it.)

I swear my weekends go by way too fast. I hope everyone had a great one. I went tanning again today. I'm starting to look pretty tan I think... I'm hoping I don't burn this summer since I've taken a preemptive initiative. Especially with going to classes and running around the county working - hopefully I can sneak in a few trips to the beach in between all that, but you never know. Anyway...

I'm ready for summer. I'm not sure I'm ready for all the stuff that'll happen between now and then, but I'll make it. LOL. But I wish the weekend involved three days, seriously. They go way too fast.